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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059605">stupid!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, and very short, cartman isnt real, i guess??, i just wanted to write a bunch of rarepairs, it's mostly abt clyde, other ships vaguely mentioned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:48:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,669</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hey, man.</p>
<p>That’s what the inside of Clyde’s wrist reads. Just, hey, man, in cursive script. It’s the lamest thing ever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clyde Donovan/Tweek Tweak, Gregory of Yardale/Craig Tucker, Leopold "Butters" Stotch/Jimmy Valmer, Token Black/Kyle Broflovski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>stupid!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, man.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That’s what the inside of Clyde’s wrist reads. Just, hey, man, in cursive script. It’s the lamest thing ever.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Craig got his soulmate mark in ninth grade. It was on his right wrist, and read, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Insisting that all British people drink tea is a stereotype, and I personally do not much care for it! </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He immediately said, “Ah, fuck, it’s Gregory.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gregory’s left wrist read </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shouldn’t you say you don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>fancy </span>
  <em>
    <span>it?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In fifth grade, Kenny cried out “Check it!” and slammed out his left wrist. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, cool!</span>
  </em>
  <span> At the same time, Stan said the same thing. They both turned red.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was Token and Kyle, soulmates in eighth grade, and Wendy and Heidi, soulmates in tenth. Jimmy had a short statement on his left wrist since seventh, but hadn’t met the other half of it just yet. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And then there was Clyde.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His mark had appeared that morning. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, man. </span>
  </em>
  <span>What the fuck was that supposed to mean? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, man. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Who used that opener? No girls he knew said shit like that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He poked at his lunch angrily. “Knowing my luck, it’ll be forever till I find this girl.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you assume it’s a woman?” Gregory asked, shifting so Craig could sit next to him. He immediately put his weight on the blonde’s shoulder, mumbling something to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They got over the initial shock.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...I guess...I don’t know. I thought…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Pretty much all the soulmates in our class are gay,” Craig agreed. “Why would you be the exception?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde’s cheeks burned. “Because I’m not...I'm...not sure what I am yet?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Guess your s-soulmate’ll find that out for you.” Jimmy sat down next to Clyde, startling him. “By the way, Token’s sitting with Kyle again.” He bumped Clyde’s shoulder. Clyde couldn’t help but grin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Gay,” Craig sighed, nuzzling Gregory’s shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dearest.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What? Gonna call me gay, Greg?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why fucking not? As if </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gregory </span>
  </em>
  <span>is any cooler, babe.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jimmy leaned forward expectantly as another one of their teasing squabbles began, making Clyde laugh, and he was suddenly aware of an absence at the table. The other foreign kids usually didn’t join Gregory when he ate lunch with Craig, so that wasn’t unusual, but another member of their little pod was definitely missing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s Tweek?” He nudged Jimmy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dunno. He m-might be hiding again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde frowned. That, unfortunately, also wasn’t unusual. Tweek was known to vanish during the school days, hiding away to closets and bathroom stalls. It always worried Clyde, to see him lock up like that; he didn’t know why it got to him so bad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Probably because Tweek was such a good friend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You wanna c-c-come over later?” Jimmy knocked him out of his thoughts. He had a talent for that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck yeah. What’re we playing?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever you want, man. You seem tense.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Man.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde hated soulmates.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they weren’t teasing (fighting?), Craig and Gregory were all over each other. Token was always wistfully looking at Kyle. It made something in Clyde’s chest ache. Why did they get their soulmates so easy, while he was alone? Dating without a soulmate mark was basically useless, since soulmates always worked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before he got his mark, he and the guys had joked that they were gonna be the only guys in the world without soulmates; they’d just have to be bros, forever.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then Jimmy got his.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then Token and Kyle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then Craig and Gregory.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All that was left was Clyde, until this morning. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But at least he and Jimmy both hadn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>found </span>
  </em>
  <span>their soulmates. He wasn’t alone and soulmate-less if he had Jimmy. He was never alone if he had Jimmy. His smart, funny friend with the goofy smile and deep brown eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jimmy, who was making his way over to the four of them as quickly as he could. Jimmy, who absolutely had not found his soulmate. Jimmy, who had Butters tailing along after him, beaming.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You WON’T believe it,” Jimmy practically shouted, his smile threatening to break off his face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Won’t believe what?” Token raised his eyebrows, arm still draped over Kyle’s shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jimmy propped himself against the lockers, and pulled his left arm out of it’s loop in his crutch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“B-Bu-Butters, help me out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I got ya!” The blonde chirped, pulling his sleeve up for him. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pretty good! </span>
  </em>
  <span>on his wrist had been replaced by a sleeve of looping, pale blue curls on his forearm. They overlapped into a beautiful, complex pattern.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Show ‘em yours,” He nodded to Butters, who revealed a similar yellow pattern on his right arm. “We’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>s-soulmates</span>
  </em>
  <span>!!!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We hadn’t talked in so long, but we got put on a group project! Jim asked me how I’d been doin’, and I didn’t even think about that bein’ my mark! He immediately knew, though. Oh, gosh, I can’t believe it!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The others had taken to congratulating the two, but Clyde could only hear the buzzing in his ears. He was alone. Stupid fucking Butters. Stupid Butters, stupid soulmates, stupid Jimmy, stupid tattoos, stupid stupid stupid. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You okay?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde turned around and ran as fast he could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde didn’t stop running until his legs hurt. He found himself on the track.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was so fucking stupid. Thinking he could avoid having a soulmate forever.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thinking, somehow, someway, it could still be Jimmy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knew it was a lost cause since Jimmy got his mark and Clyde didn’t get his. He thought, maybe, it was a mistake. That they were just running late. Clyde would get his, and it would match Jimmy’s, and they would be soulmates. Jimmy even said </span>
  <em>
    <span>man. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He just hoped there was a delay. He hoped, against the system, against fate, against the universe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But it was fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>Leopold Stotch</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Butters, who was nice to everybody he met, Butters, who always had soft looking hair and innocent smiles, Butters, who snorted when he laughed and said weird things that somehow came off as cute these days.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Butters, the soft, pretty kind of soulmate Jimmy deserved.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not some ugly, whiny idiot like Clyde.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>God, he was so fucking stupid. For thinking he had a chance. The soulmate system is flawless; it makes its decision and it’s always correct in it. That is the one truth, and Clyde refused to believe it. Because he wanted a chance. He wanted Jimmy. He should have known that wanting never got anybody anywhere.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why did there have to be some fucking system? He knew damn well Jimmy was his soulmate. It was all a farce. Dumb luck, that Craig and Gregory fell so in love, that Token and Kyle became eachother’s rocks. Dumb fucking luck. A stupid, broken system from a stupid, broken universe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was all so fucking stupid.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde sat down on the grass by the track, burying his face in his hands. Stupid, stupid, stupid! The universe, himself, Jimmy, soulmates. Stupid! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Something moved behind him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde jumped, turning around and onto his knees, poised in a strange pose that he wanted to come off as threatening, but definitely looked stupid. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And staring right back at him, hidden behind the bleachers, were two bright blue-green eyes. Tweek was crouching, no, hiding under the seats. His very good friend Tweek. Who he didn’t really talk to, even if he also was soulmate-less, because he wasn’t Jimmy. So this is where he was hiding. He had a green hoodie pulled over his button up, even in the early May warmth. He looked so small, twitching in the shadow of the metal rows.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, man,” He said, meekly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde burst into tears, and started talking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He told Tweek he was in love with Jimmy. He told Tweek that he was so, so in love with Jimmy Valmer and he had no idea what to do about it. He told Tweek that he had hoped against hope that Jimmy would somehow be his soulmate, but he was wrong. He was so wrong and so stupid, to hope. He told Tweek that he was never going to find his soulmate, because it was so stupid, because it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jimmy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He told Tweek all of these things, and Tweek listened with wide eyes. He kept his hands on the bleacher under his eyes, his fingers tapping the edges anxiously. When Clyde finished, he waited to make sure he was done.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That sucks,” He soothed, blinking owlishly at him. “That </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>sucks. And I’m fucking here for you, man, because I’ve been there. Gh!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-you have?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I had...a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing </span>
  </em>
  <span>for Craig. Before he and Gregory got together. It drove me crazy, ngh. I thought we were meant to be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde nodded, crawling closer to the bleachers. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But I was wrong. And that sucked. So fucking much. Because he...was Gregory’s.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How’d you get over it?” Clyde asked, putting his hands on his own side of the bleachers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think I really did. It still hurts. But I can’t - gah! - obsess over the same guy forever. Especially if my soulmate’s out there. There’s no point in just being miserable.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde sniffled and nodded. Why didn’t he ever talk to Tweek? He didn’t know he could give advice like this - even as his ‘friend’, he’d always written him off a little too fast. But here he was, with pretty eyes and kind words and tip-tappy fingers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I show you something, Clyde?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek pulled his right hand down and pulled down his hoodie sleeve. On the inside of his wrist was a paragraph, beginning with </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m in love with Jimmy. </span>
  </em>
  <span>As Clyde gawked at it, the black letters began to fade into red, twisting and changing; they turned into two beautiful vines, twisting up Tweek’s arm, entwining together, stark as blood against his snow white skin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clyde pulled down his own sleeve. A pale green set of vines had appeared on his left arm. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He met Tweek’s eyes. Tweek flushed red. It then occurred to him what Tweek had said when Clyde saw him, eyes wide.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, man. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm going to be honest, i wrote this because i ship twyde and just put the other ships for fun. writing a world without k2 and stutters endgame is odd :') but i hope u enjoyed!!!</p>
<p>ty to my friends for beta'ing.....</p></blockquote></div></div>
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